My Story
The journey I have been on up until this point has been one of reclaiming my truth and autonomy.
What do I mean by this?
When I was a child I experienced trauma that led me to believe I was all alone in the world. That I wasn’t worthy of Love and I had an enormous amount of shame I carried with me. It was a ‘secret’ I buried deep down in myself for most of my life.
Until my body turned on me…or so it felt like.
When I was 16 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. After being an athlete who did sports year round my life came to a screeching halt. I was admitted into the hospital for over a month with dozens of tests being run on me, people touching me, and medicines being pumped through my veins that were a shot in the dark whether they would be effective. I felt so violated, out of control, and helpless. I was internally bleeding for over a month, I was in excruciating pain, I couldn't eat without vomiting, and I got down to 82 pounds. I started to question so much.
Becoming my own advocate.
So when I was 18 I was on a ‘for life’ immunobiologic as I had been told that having an autoimmune disease means your own body is attacking itself. I started junior college, competing in the bikini division in bodybuilding while secretly getting iv’s every 8 weeks to keep my immune system from running rampant. I was so young sitting with people who wouldn’t return week after week because they had passed away. Their cancers or diseases had taken them despite being on immunotherapy. So I decided to stop taking everything. I told myself that the internal bleeding wouldn’t turn into cancer as I wasn’t going to let that be my truth. During this time I was in my first relationship. It was extremely toxic (who hasn't had one of those). I inherently knew the relationship wasn't what I wanted but I wanted to believe I was lovable, that someone would fight for me. So I stayed. This was my trauma.
Finding holistic wellness.
I spontaneously moved to Arizona at the age of 21. My first job at a salon led me to meet a woman who became one of my biggest teachers in my life, Robyn. She introduced me to holistic healing, which led me to meet my herbalist and naturopath. When I started seeing them I was pooping blood daily, not digesting my food, and in fight or flight.
I dove deep!
First thing both of my holistic docs started talking to me about was nutrition. I never had anyone in western medicine bring up nutrition. I consumed everything I could about the internal body and how foods can heal. I read books, listened to podcasts and took classes. I started doing juice cleanses, eating organic, and exploring different types of diets. During this time I started to open myself up to different spiritual concepts as well.
Finding Self Love.
After breaking up with my boyfriend 3 years prior I became obsessed with Self Love and what that truly meant for me. Through that relationship I was mirrored back how much I didn't think I was worthy of Love, how much scarcity was programmed into my upbringing, but also how strong I was. I opened my first business and went all in on myself. Aprilovely Salon was born, a salon based in holistic practices. I quickly learned so much about myself and also how powerful energy was.
For 8 years.
I would recycle the experience of having a flare up so severe I would be emitted into the hospital once a year for the minimum of a week. I was frustrated, confused, and felt despair in my healing journey. I was eating the perfect diet, did not drink alcohol, exercised regularly, yet once a year my life would get turned upside down.
Year 29 was my greatest gift of life.
This was the year I would experience a Death and Rebirth of my soul. I was in my second relationship ever and deeply in love. I knew the relationship had its flaws. Because I had done deep internal work I knew this time that the way he was choosing to show up had nothing to do with me, but his own internal battles. I decided to hire my first somatic therapist as I felt the deep triggers within myself again of not feeling lovable. So as life does, things came to a head.
Last and Final time being hospitalized.
October 2022 I was hospitalized for what would be the worst flare up I had ever experienced. A week into me being in the hospital my relationship ended, my body started shutting down, I lost 30 pounds, over half my blood to internal bleeding.
Miracles do exist.
Doctors couldn't figure out what was going on because every test came back with no infection, no cause of what I was experiencing. So their answers were again a shot in the dark. Their solution was to give preventive antibiotics or surgery that could cause me lose my colon completely or not wake up. I refused. I hadn't eaten in 4 weeks and was rapidly declining. But I never gave up on my beliefs or the fight for myself. I didn't accept their answers as my truth or their medicines as an option. I was eventually assigned a new doctor as I was seen as a noncompliant patient. Let me be honest and say the doctors who were speaking with me thought I was absolutely nuts. The new doctor who entered my room, grabbed my hands, got on one knee and started praying for me. I instantly fell into a deep breath and knew I wasn't going to die. He asked me how he could help me, what he could do for me, he respected me and believed I could heal. After 5 days I was starting to eat, my pain decreased, and I was discharged from the hospital. I felt my spirit again.
Over the next two years I traveled the world learning and applying energy work to myself. Through facing death I was given the opportunity to let go of everything that didn't serve me. I looked my trauma in the face and felt in every cell of my being the pain I was carrying. I cried, I screamed, I shook. I felt isolated and alone. So I sought out spaces in which I felt I could start to heal. I attended women circles, a self tantra retreat, breathwork retreat, nervous system regulation programs, somatics, emotional release liberation, cycle syncing, and womb healing.
I AM LOVE!
All of that to bring you into who I am now. I am a living embodiment of a woman who held deep trauma that manifested into a disease, who was told I would have to be dependent on western medicine for the rest of my life, that my risk of cancer and having my colon removed were very probable. I chose to not believe that was my truth. I chose the path of self exploration. The last 10 years I have been facing my shadows, reprogramming my mind, finding joy, and diving deep into all the mental and internal blocks within myself. I reclaimed my sensuality, I attract healthy relationships, I find joy in my sensuality, I dance my heart out even if people are watching. I learned to look at the body as a whole instead of isolating parts of it. I learned healing is in feeling.
It is nutrition, it is movement, it is visiting your traumas, it is finding community, it is falling in love with yourself over and over again.
Freedom in self discovery.
You are an alchemist made by the divine creator. My story is a reflection of your own inner resilience, innate wisdom, power, and truth!